Monday, December 20, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
++ great old friend ++
Absolutely enlightened at 1+ to 2. Im so glad i on the computer and got onto msn messenger.
Boon Tiong is thy name. Haha. Anyway, apologise for putting your name THIS BIG. But hey, be proud of yer name yeah? =)
It's been like 3 years [like you said], but it felt more than 3 years. Weird how time can fly. Hmm...let's say, this guy got some kind of connection here? Normally when old friends first talk after years, there is always some gap. But, strangely, there's none!!! That's how I felt, i dont know about him...Oh well. Talked about ego, pride, friendships, love, life. I think we talked about everything. Lol, all areas covered.
It's like...been some time since i had intellectual talks like this long. And not crapping about studies, people...erm...u know, those kinda girls' talk and guys telling me about their girlfriends stuff, studies, troubles... until i feel like a mediator. -.- and somehow outta place.
That two hours? I was being mediated.
Haha, im a lost kid huh? Indeed.
Change is inevitable. Understood.
Love is the greatest gift man could ever have. Understood.
Ego may lead people to taking the wrong path rather than the right one. Understood.
Love comes in different forms. Understood.
What else?? HAha.
Live life to the fullest? Yeah, absolutely.
I realised there are much more in life rather than to be remorseful and recalling the past. Not to say forsake the past, but to live on every moment to its fullest, there is no time to talk about the past at all. To do that, is to recognise mistakes made, keep in mind and not repeat it.
What i've been doing is ABSOLUTELY not what one should do at such young age. Time do not wait for anyone. Every second is not to be wasted but spent on improving. Reminiscing old times should be done at an age of retirement. Not now. Not even 10 years down the road. =)
True love.
What is it actually? Probably something one seeks in the whole life in search for this answer. Such question are answered according to ones thoughts. Basically, there are no right OR wrong answers. Just whether accepted by most of not. Life is not all about oneself but about sharing, learning, giving and taking.
Seemingly came to light immediately, i came to realise how actually weak i am inside, thoughts, ways of handling things and expressing oneself.
And how strong i appear to be can cover this fact to many 'gullible' friends who believe all they see is real and that none is a lie. In fact, if one's friend has strong bond and understanding of one, it takes little to realise that he or she, is weak mentally.
Apparently, in my case, i can feel myself crumpling everytime i return home. It's almost everytime that i feel so empty and unsure of all. I feel no fulfillment as one should have in studies. In fact, i used to, but that was the past. Buried. Present? None of such. Indeed, i lost the deep interest in studying. It became a chore instead.
Thinking of my old injury, i recall how silly i had been, to run at such speed filled with anger and making *ahem* [person] feeling bad over nothing. I am nothing. Nothing but a bottomless pit. It keeps going deeper and never stopping. Yet this guy here. Comforts with just one sentence. 'we were children'.
One sentence speaks it all.
This guy here? Way ahead of me.
Speaks with wisdom like an old man thou has. Haha. =P
This entry, dedicated to Boon Tiong.
If you are reading this, just to let you know how much help you've been.
Cheers.
Ciao for now.
im torn between
silent & violent expression
