im tired of all this shit i just want to GET AWAY

Thursday, July 28, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005

what am i to you? just a shield to cover you when you get hurled at? oh sorry. i forgot. you dont need me at all. im the one who's needing you. it's always him him and him. it just adds on. im tired dont you know? no you dont. all you care is your happy and cute smile. all you care is she and him. all you care is them. not me. you say you do. but really? i cant feel it. iunno why. i just cannot feel it. i want to be truthful to you. but how truthful can i be to you? how much can i trust you? how much. just how much. tell me. i really want to know. i hate it. i hate myself. why do i cry over such dumb stuffs. make my eyes all red. make myself feel miserable. make myself hate myself more. all because of you. who are you to me? how can you make me feel so upset. HOW CAN YOU! i cant bring myself to hate you no matter what because. because. because i believed you. because i trust you to keep my secrets. and what did you do? you betray my trust. you hurt me more than anyone else did. i cant seem to trust anyone THAT much anymore. i just cant. im too scared. im to hurt to even think about anyone else's feelings now. i cant even think. im just bloody typing. i just hope i feel better after typing out. im too tired to write on in a book. im too tired. too tired to be so happy in school and be so upset after that. too tired to hold back my tears. too tired. talking about promises. when did you kept yours to me? so what. his promises are more important than your promise to me, is that what you trying to tell me? i get it now. im tired. too tired.

im torn between
silent & violent expression