im tired of all this shit i just want to GET AWAY

Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006

uhm. no reply from ms lim, so things like 'are they[ms lim and ms koh] angry with me?' comes to my mind. imagine yourself being sick and your friends asks you to go out. there's two possible egoistic thoughts 'my friends like my company.' or 'my friends dont bother about getting sick themselves hanging out with me.' and one sad thought. 'my friends dont care if im sick or not.'
[all of which are N.A]

haha, is this mighty pathetic being sick or what having to wonder about things like 'if there's homework will anyone of my friends be bothered to tell me?' ??

i dont know if it's to early to comment that 'nobody is going to tell me.'

because the self-claimed tiancai told me all the test announcements today. and nobody else did. nobody else did. nobody else did, nobody else did. haha. what's more is si mian chu ge started playing once i click 'random' on wmp. man, that message is way too bloody extreme. as aaron said it before, 'never do things to the extreme, leave a way for people to 'walk'.' and mable yee's 'give them the benefit of doubt.'

then this comforting thought came to me. 'maybe they'll tell me tomorrow, in school.'

then the freaking mean brain of mine scolded me. 'YOU MUST ASK THEM YOU A******!!', and a silent voice crept up 'if not, you will not know anything..' i was unable to distinguish the tone, sense and feeling. but the intention there was to send me into pits of miserable and unspoken horror.

this is really saddening.
and shuddering.

p.s how wonderful to fall sick and express how a sick mind would think in depression. =))
p.s.s will someone please message me and tell me i'll be alright by tomorrow because i feel like im dead. you know, 24h sleeping, it's like lying in a open-lid coffin la!! lols!

im torn between
silent & violent expression