im tired of all this shit i just want to GET AWAY

Saturday, April 01, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006

seems like when everything is alright, something must go wrong. must is the word. take friday for example. felt like a bloody overstretched rubberband, but it turned out my parents meant good [as usual]. this week was hell. must be because of some kind of stupid hormones changing or something. experienced some bloody overwhelming emotions. for example, extreme anger which resulted in shutting myself up and creating some kind of unsettlement among some people. weirdest of all, on friday mr teo said 'can you talk?' isnt that extremely weird? shouldnt it be like the other way round? oh wells, i didnt think of that until today. freaking brain works one day slower i suppose. it's super easy to get on my nerves. like anything to deal with points, books, outing, gossiping. i dont know why. it is stupid because it wastes more energy than needed. and im bored with all those negative emotions. it's stupid. but locking it up isnt easy. but who cares. im going to trash them out once a week on a piece of paper and throw it away. then get on with studies/life/whatever you call it. yeah yeah whatever. say im a copycat. say im an idiot. say im an ass. say im stupid. whatever alright. kick yourself in your own fucking ass. you know what. be glad i even replied you in the same manner you messaged me because it shows that you are worth me copying. fuck you for trying to preach into my head. monday is coming, somehow im looking forward to monday more than i look forward to weekends and i wonder why the hell. it's not like i love schools, lessons or anything. i used to love fridays and hate mondays and look forward to weekends. but now i dont. and i wonder why the freaking hell. maybe i should bang my head on the wall and forget about find out why.

im torn between
silent & violent expression